Obstruction of contact rarely starts openly
In family law, contact means more than simply arranging meetings between a child and a parent. If you consciously or unconsciously begin to undermine that relationship, the consequences can be very significant, both for your child and in custody proceedings.
Obstruction usually develops gradually. It may start with small things that seem insignificant to others — last-minute cancellations, changes of plan, poor communication or comments that make your child hesitant about contact. Over time, these behaviours can form a pattern in which your child gradually becomes distanced from the other parent.
The court examines why the relationship is deteriorating
The court considers not only whether contact has actually been cancelled, but also why the relationship between your child and the other parent is deteriorating. If you actively influence your child’s feelings, create anxiety about contact or undermine the relationship, this may be viewed as a serious concern for your child’s welfare.
Different forms of contact obstruction
In practice, obstructing contact can take many forms, for example:
- Refusing to hand over your child or repeatedly finding reasons to cancel contact
- Making negative comments about the other parent in your child’s presence
- Casting suspicion on the other parent
- Your child gradually coming to feel that it is ‘wrong’ to want to see the other parent
A parent who obstructs contact rarely sees themselves as being in the wrong
Children are very sensitive to conflicts of loyalty and often pick up on a parent’s feelings even when nothing is said directly. At the same time, if you obstruct contact, you may feel that you are protecting your child, reacting out of frustration or trying to manage a situation marked by conflict. The problem is that your child’s need for contact with both parents can easily be overshadowed by the conflict between the adults.
Children who gradually lose contact with a parent are at risk of developing anxiety, difficulties with their sense of identity, guilt and intense conflicts of loyalty. In the longer term, this can affect their sense of security and their relationships, even in adulthood.
What legal consequences can there be?
In custody proceedings, the issue often extends beyond contact itself. The court examines which parent actually supports the child’s need for a positive relationship with both parents. Swedish family law is based on the principle that children generally benefit most from close and positive contact with both parents, provided there are no risks to the child. Custody here means legal responsibility for the child.
If you repeatedly make contact difficult, you may gradually lose the court’s confidence. In some cases, this may lead to changes in custody, residence — where your child lives — or contact arrangements. The court considers not only what you say about your child’s best interests, but also how you actually behave.
Not every dispute about contact amounts to obstruction
There are situations in which contact needs to be restricted or adapted because of genuine concerns about, for example, violence, substance misuse or your child’s safety. Each situation must be assessed carefully in light of your child’s actual needs. The court always makes an overall assessment, balancing your child’s safety and security against their need for contact with both parents.
Patterns over time are decisive
The court considers how you and the other parent communicate, how you manage disagreements, and whether either of you consistently shields your child from the adult conflict or draws them into it. If you can encourage your child’s relationship with the other parent despite serious conflict, you are often seen as more stable, cooperative and focused on your child’s needs.
Ultimately, questions of contact are not about the conflict between you and the other parent, but about your child’s right to security, stability and positive relationships.