Contact the municipal family law service – but not in the heat of the moment
The municipal family law service deals with questions of custody, residence and contact before any court proceedings begin. These concern legal responsibility for your child, where your child lives and their contact with a parent.
Our advice as a law firm is not to contact the family law service in the heat of the moment. Do not call in a panic and simply describe everything the other parent is doing wrong. Your first conversation should be calm, factual and clear: explain that there is a conflict concerning your child and that you would like help with questions of custody, residence or contact. Even at this stage, it is important to come across as focused on your child, not on the conflict.
Co-operation talks
The family law service can provide information about co-operation talks, in which you and the other parent receive support to try to find a solution without going to court. The talks may cover where your child should live, contact arrangements, how handovers should work and how you should communicate with each other about your child.
If you and the other parent reach agreement, the family law service can help draw up an agreement which, once approved by the family law service, becomes legally binding in the same way as a judgment.
The requirement to attend an information meeting
Since 1 March 2022, in many situations you must attend an information meeting with the municipality before a court can hear a dispute about custody, residence or contact. The purpose is to give you and the other parent information about the process and an opportunity to resolve the conflict without going straight to the district court.
The first meeting is not a trial
Your meeting with the family law service is not a place to ‘win’ against the other parent. It is an opportunity to show that you want to find a solution that keeps your child safe and secure. If you approach the meeting calmly, communicate clearly and focus on your child's needs, you will often make a much better impression than if you simply attack the other parent.
How to prepare
Prepare a clear and specific account of your child's situation:
- What is not working?
- How is your child affected?
- What specific problems are there with collection, drop-off, living arrangements, schooling, communication or contact?
- What actual events can you describe, rather than making general statements such as ‘the other parent is impossible’?
The first step also has strategic importance
How you express yourself at the outset can affect how you are perceived later. Talk about your child's security, stability and needs. Avoid exaggeration, a threatening tone and emotional attacks. Even if the situation is difficult, you must show that you can act maturely and responsibly.
If the talks do not lead to a solution
If the co-operation talks do not lead to a solution, you can take the matter to the district court by filing an application for a summons, which starts court proceedings, unless the issues are already being dealt with, for example in ongoing divorce proceedings.
Contact with the family law service often marks the beginning of the whole process. This is where the conflict first starts to be documented, where it becomes apparent whether you and the other parent can co-operate, and where the first professional assessment is often made of whether the issues can be resolved by agreement. You should therefore take your dealings with the family law service very seriously: if you demonstrate an organised, calm and child-focused approach from the outset, you will often be in a stronger position throughout the process.